Designer Jeans: For Men and Women

Jeans Mysteries I've Always Wondered About (A Rant)

There are a few strange jeans mysteries I just can't seem to wrap my head around. Whether I'm shopping for a new pair of designer jeans, browsing all the fabulous jeans online or just watching other people walk by, I'm continuously boggled by the same weird jeans idiosyncracies. Have you ever noticed...?

  • I'm not by any means a short person. I am in fact a few inches taller than the average American. And yet, there's a designer jeans mystery which I can't figure out. Why are the best fitting jeans always way too long, bunching up around my shoes and dragging on the ground? What gives? And furthermore, if I have this problem, what about the half of the people who are of average height or shorter? You guys must be swimming in those jeans! Of course, I suppose I could get those lovely designer jeans shortened at my friendly neighborhood dry cleaner's store. Nah!

  • Okay, here's another one. Why is it that jeans, from the best designers to the discount knockoffs, always seem to get one size bigger after you wear them for a few weeks? This makes buying new jeans an especially fun challenge. Are those jeans too tight, or do they need to be tighter to allow for that new jeans stretch out?

  • This next one is a generation gap thing. Why oh why does my mother insist on wearing jeans obviously bought in the eighties which have a waist which rises significantly higher than her belly button? Did I mention they're stonewashed white...enough said.

  • So, with all of the various new and old designer jeans styles out there, why doesn't anybody make jeans which get real thin from the knee down so that I can easily slip them into my super cool boots? This seems like such a basic jeans innovation. Maybe these well thought out jeans exist and I just haven't found them yet.

  • Okay, seriously now. Who was the mean person who designed the idea of button fly jeans? While they may be cute as jeans go, they'll so less cute after you've had a couple of cups of coffee and are waiting not too patietly in line to use the restroom? Yikes.

  • And finally, it always makes me sad that my favorite jeans always seem to get holes in the crotch area before anywhere else. Why does this have to happen...and why do I keep wearing them?!



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